


Coffee Does Not Heal the Soul

by roseprice612



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: ? I guess, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Kylux - Freeform, Slow Burn, i may or may not regret writing this, the usual kylux shit, they hate each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-17 09:43:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13074240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseprice612/pseuds/roseprice612
Summary: This whole thing is kinda shit but then again so are these charactersSlow build/unaware of romance sort of arc, both of these idiots are adept to feelings. Takes place at X University in GodKnowsWhere. PSA to college students everywhere; coffee is not a defiblerator. It cannot bring you back to life (you can sure as hell try, though).





	1. Racquetball, Roommates, And Really Bad Sleep Schedules

Hux really wanted to drop out.

First it'd been the harassment for choosing to be an RA during his second year of college, but he just didn't want a roommate. After the incident last year... And then it was his statistics professor, who really wanted to screw him over by giving him three projects within the first two weeks. And lastly it was that idiot on his racquetball team.

It boggled Hux's mind as to why the self-named 'Kylo Ren' would even want to be on a racquetball team. He was built like a tank. He should've been on the football team or something. To make it worse, it seemed that every practice, they were left to partner with each other. Everyone on the team thought Hux was too uptight and annoying and Kylo was too emo to talk to. The last part was true. Kylo lost his temper easier than Hux's father did (and that was saying something), and it was even worse around Hux. The two were naturally terrible for each other. And yet every practice they were the last to pair up and thus left to partner.

"Softer!" Hux missed the ball for the fifth time that afternoon. "By God, Kyle, could you hit it the ball any harder?"

"It's Kylo, not Kyle, and maybe you should just keep up!" The much larger man hissed, throwing down his racquet. "I'm so out! Fuck you, Armitage!"

Hux cringed at his name. "Are you just going to walk out? We have an actual competition this weekend!"

Kylo was at the door. "Handle it, then, Mr. I-Know-Everything!"

He walked out and slammed to door behind him, rattling the glass. Hux sighed deeply and decided to leave too. No use trying to continue when he had so much work to do, so he put his racquet back in its bag and left to take a cold shower in the bathroom of the gym. It was refreshing after such a horrible practice. He always liked taking cold showers after having to deal with Kylo. It cleared his mind.

Fortunately, it was warm outside. He dried quickly in the almost-fall air, carrying his backpack and racquet all the way back to his dorm at the other side of campus. There weren't many people out, surprisingly. It was nice and calm. Hux crouched down by the grass beside the sidewalk and took a picture of a squirrel mid-jump across two trees. He looked it over, content with the quality, and promised himself to post it on his secret photography page later.

Hux's night took yet another unexpected and unappreciated turn. He barely got into his dorm building before someone stopped him, an older and much more serious man.

"Mr. Hux?" He greeted, the Mr putting off Hux a bit. He sounded like his father. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Talk to me tomorrow," Hux was having none of it, needing to just work on his statistics project and go to bed. The man grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"I wasn't asking." He growled, and suddenly Hux felt very nervous. "My name is Tarkin. I'm a business major and army ROTC member and I was supposed to be RA of this building. I'm supposed to be in your room." Tarkin explained, and Hux chewed the inside of his lip and considered what he said.

"Then where am I supposed to go?" He asked, his tone careful.

"We have a room for you." Tarkin answered. "In this building. It's the fifth floor. Room 502." He dug keys out of his pocket and handed them to Hux. "We've already brought all your stuff up."

"You went through my belongings?" Hux looked down at the keys in disbelief as if they were the person wronging him. "Is that not an invasion of privacy?"

"We haven't damaged anything. This is a public building, anyhow." Tarkin looked down meaningfully at his watch and stepped back. "Your roommate's name is Ben. Good luck." And he turned and left Hux simmering in exhaustion and fury. How dare they take his room! How dare they touch and move all his stuff! If he didn't fear his life, he'd call his father and complain!

And the roommate. Tarkin had said his name was Ben. It couldn't be... that Ben. Hux's stomach dropped to his feet. No. It couldn't be. There were more than one Ben at this college.

Hux dragged himself to the elevator only to find it out of order. Of course. He heaved his bag and racquet up five flights of steep stairs, pausing to take a breath twice. How did anyone climb these every day? Would he have to climb these every day? He twisted the keys in his palm and approached his new room. 502. He took a long deep breath before straightening his spine and knocking. If this was in fact another Ben, he needed to make the right impression.

But no one answered his knock. After a silent pause Hux heard rock and roll music blasting out of what had to be a powerful speaker. How had he not heard it coming up the stairs? Hux jammed the key into the door and opened it himself, finding a broad-shouldered man with long hair in bun sitting at his desk, drawing. Hux tried closing the door as loudly as he could behind him, but at the same time a long guitar-riff cut him off. He hadn't been there more than five minutes and already Hux had a pounding headache.

"Hello!" He shouted. "Turn off the music, please!"

Finally, the man at the desk turned his head and Hux found himself not able to breathe. It was the Ben. Kylo.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He screamed, leaning over to turn down his music. When it was quiet enough to speak normally, Kylo stood and looked as if he were about to throttle Hux. "This is my room. Why the fuck are you here?"

"Um- I got moved." Hux tried keeping his composure. He pointed to the pile of stuff on the empty bed and desk. "I was an RA. I got replaced."

"Wonder why," Kylo growled. "Why the fuck did they move your ass in with me? Are they out to get me or something?"

"I highly doubt they'd waste time on you," Hux answered truthfully, cursing his slippery tongue. At least it was just Kylo and not his father this time. "I didn't have a choice. Trust me, I would not choose to move in with you."

Kylo considered Hux for a few more moment before leaning back on one foot and seeming decided. "Alright. House rules: keep your shit on your side and don't talk to me, and I won't kick you out." He tightened his bun and turned back to his desk, sitting down resolutely and getting back to his drawing. He turned his music back up to max volume to make a point.

"Fuck my life." Hux set his bag at his new desk and began unpacking his stuff for the second time.

It was nearly ten by the time he was fully unpacked, though not settled in by Kylo's horrid music and pure hatred for Hux. He decided to at least try to make leeway with that statistics project, but by the time he put in earbuds and turned on his computer, he saw an incoming call from his father.

"Fuck!" He stood, shut his computer and turned to Kylo. "Shut off the fucking music!" And he did, surprised by Hux's sudden fear. Hux pressed the answer button and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Hello, sir." He greeted. He didn't wait more than two seconds for an answer.

"You have not picked up one of my calls today." His snappy voice came through the receiver. He was not happy. Hux swallowed.

"I'm sorry."

"Why did you use the bank card?"

Shit. Hux needed to pay for a new racquet after Kylo had damaged his. "I- my racquet broke, sir."

"Why?"

"An accident. I'm sorry. It just got damaged." He glanced back at Kylo, who was clearly pretending not to listen. "It will not happen again, sir."

"It had better not. I am keeping you on a tight budget. I monitor your bank account. Remember that. No more buying racquets and cheap beer when you think I'm not watching."

Hux closed his eyes and chewed his cheek. "That was one time."

"What was that, Armitage?"

"I said it won't happen again, sir." He corrected. He hadn't meant to say that. Damn his slippery tongue.

"That is all." And the call ended. That was usually how it went. Hux took the phone away from his ear to make sure the call had really ended and set his phone down. There was a long silence. Kylo shifted in his chair.

"Who the fuck was that?" He grumbled.

"My father," Hux answered. He didn't want to elaborate, and Kylo sensed his tenseness, so he continued blasting AC/DC. Hux slipped his earbuds back in and forced himself to write three pages about ratios.

It might've been past midnight when Kylo shut off his music, brushed his teeth, and stripped down to just boxers to get in bed. Hux found it a bit distracting to work with an admittedly attractive man almost in the nude walking around behind him. He managed a few more paragraphs before Kylo threw a pillow at him.

"Turn off the light! I'm trying to sleep." His head popped up from under his sheets. Hux rolled his eyes.

"Sure. Asshole." He murmured the last part and continued typing. "I have quite a bit to finish, unlike an art major." And he did have quite a bit to finish. He'd get another call from his father if his grades dropped to any less than what they currently were.

Kylo fell asleep despite his typing. Hux was able to finish up the project and submit it, quickly but methodically getting ready for bed and climbing onto the springy mattress, all lights out and a bit too dark for his liking. Kylo was snoring. That helped. Hux hated the silence. Silence was dangerous. Nevertheless, he slipped into sleep. Albeit a nightmarish, fretful sleep, but sleep.

Morning came too fast. Hux's alarm went off but didn't wake Kylo, fortunately, so Hux dragged himself out of bed all while debating just dropping out of school altogether. He took a mildly scalding shower and got dressed in Oxfords, a button down shirt and khakis. He ensured his hair was perfect, grabbed his bag - checking so he had everything - and left as quietly as possible. He was lucky Kylo was a heavy sleeper.

His morning class wasn't bad. He had allowed enough time to grab coffee before class to wake him up, and went back after to stay awake. He filled one of his water bottles with vodka to make it through the day and went off to his next class. Statistics. The teacher went easier on them that day. Hux walked away with only a half-finished packet, but finished it on the way to work. He took a few long sips of vodka and avoided all his coworkers the entire shift, until his third class at four. This was the worst part of the day. He drained half his 'water' bottle and finished a third coffee. The professor assigned a seven page essay. Hux finished two pages in class and two later that night at the library. Racquetball practice was as torturous as usual. Homework at the dorm, earbuds in to block out all the screaming and electric guitars, and essays to finish. Kylo was either in bed or wandering around campus, and Hux up later than midnight finishing something. The entire week repeated this. Hux was exhausted. But he couldn't stop then. He had to keep going.

This went on for months. From the start of the school year up until December Hux worked harder than anyone else, handing in his assignments early and keeping his grades well above average to avoid his father. At the same time he found his mind beginning to slip, and especially after his father cut him off from spending "excess" money on coffee, he snapped easier than glass. His fights with Kylo escalated until they screamed at each other at every possible opportunity.

Hux sat awake at his desk at 2 in the morning, doing his very best to write smoothly. His vision was sometimes clear and other times dark, his eyes closing and opening again without him realizing. Kylo had long since turned off the music and sat in his bed, scrolling through his phone. They hadn't spoken all day, desperately trying to avoid another screaming match.

"Turn off the light." Kylo grumbled. Hux slammed his pencil down on his desk and shook it.

"I need to finish this. I don't expect you to understand." He growled, an extreme response to Kylo's mild annoyance. "You aren't even sleeping. Let me be."

"Fuck you." Was the usual response. He shut off his phone and turned over towards Hux. "Now you have to turn it off. Look, I'm trying to sleep." He shut his eyes and made snoring noises passively aggressively. Hux tried to control his breathing and stay on task, but his hand threw the pencil before he could react. It hit his roommate in the head.

"Ow!" Kylo sat up and saw the pencil next to him. "Alright, that's it. Get out. Get the fuck out!"

"I live here!" Hux stood, his eyes crazed. Kylo got out of bed, ready to fight him or throw something. Fear crept inside of Hux, scared of Kylo's much larger size and obvious strength, but he would never show it. He couldn't lose to someone like Ben Solo. His father would never forgive him. He'd been raised in a military family his whole life, and even as lanky and awkwardly-limbed as he was, he could fight.

"I've had enough of this fucking bullshit." Kylo started on Hux with a dangerous look on his face. "I've had enough! You're such a fucking nerd I can't take it anymore! Can't you see how ridiculous this is? All you ever do is schoolwork! I mean really, how many classes can one person take? It's obscene!"

"Big words for an art major." Hux hissed, his brain not thinking logically. He advanced on Kylo first, stepping up to him until he nearly stood on his toes. "I cannot believe you. How much money are you spending to be here? You're wasting your time and money! Are you parents glad you spend so much on doodles and pretty little illustrations? That all you do is waste everyone else's time?"

"Don't you fucking dare say you know the first thing about art. You're the most backward-minded single-minded person I've ever met!" Kylo shouted back, pressing himself against Hux and shoving him back. He wore nothing but boxers but looked objectively terrifying. "Get the fuck out of my room, you asshole!"

Kylo's hair was tousled and unbound and sprung across his face in waves. There was a mole beside his large nose and his bare chest heaved breaths, radiating heat. They were pressed against a wall.

"Get off me." Hux's voice was hoarser than he realized. He raised a hand to push his roommate back, but Kylo caught his hand. "Get off!"

"You're shaking," Kylo observed his hand, trembling in his grip. His entire body was shaking, now that he noticed. "Why the hell are you shaking?"

That was too complicated a question, so Hux answered with, "My father cut off coffee."

An out-of-place smirk grew on Kylo's lips. "Coffee does not heal the soul."

Hux scowled. "What the fuck kind of stupid saying is that?" Kylo was still holding his wrist. "Get the hell off me, weirdo."

"What, are you gonna faint or something?" Kylo's smirk was devious, Hux realized. "You gonna collapse right now?"

Hux felt that was fairly probable, but he was sick of Kylo's hand around his wrist. It made him feel strange. He almost admitted to liking it. He bodyslammed him before he could act on anything he was feeling. "I said get off!" He tore his hand away from his grasp and stood straight, panting. He felt like an absolute mess.

Kylo stared in a bit of shock for a minute. Then he moved forward again without a sound and brushed a piece of hair back into place on Hux's head. That shocked both of them.

"Don't touch me." Hux's voice wasn't nearly as threatening as he wanted it to be. "Get away. I want to do my homework."

"No, you don't." Kylo cut him off before he could go any further.

"You don't get to say that." Hux chewed the inside of his cheek and tried his best scowl. He really did feel like he was going to faint. "I need to- my father will kill me if I don't pass in this- this essay-" He turned back to the desk and looked down at his hand. He couldn't even attempt to hold it steady. He sat at his desk anyway and looked over the work in front of him. With every movement, his eyes played tricks on him.

"Go to bed, Hux."

Hux paused in his seat. That was the first time Kylo had called him by his name. "What the fuck is going on with you?" He turned only his head and regretted it. A migraine was seeping in. "You're acting really strange. Go away."

Kylo responded with an offended scowl. "You're literally falling apart from schoolwork. I'm just telling you to go to bed so you don't keep me up any longer."

Of course it was because he didn't want to stay up any longer. "Fuck you. I'll go to bed when I finish this assignment." And Kylo sighed once before moving back to his bed and climbing into it, turning away so Hux couldn't see what his face read.

That whole night turned out to be shit. Hux went to bed a half hour after the argument and didn't sleep a wink afterward. His nightmares were growing worse and worse each day, and at five he decided to just forget about sleeping and start his day. He showered, groomed his hair perfectly and dressed as well as he usually did. Kylo was in the exact same position in bed as the previous night. Turned to the wall and ignoring everything Hux did. Was he mad? What the hell was he offended about?

It was too quiet outside. Hux walked as quickly as he could to warm himself, hurrying to the library so he could study for the first exam he had in two days. He was on a time crunch. For three hours, he studied everything he could on international affairs. By the time the sun had risen he'd fallen asleep twice and gotten all the way through his packets. He went to his first class the same way a zombie went after brains. Which, coincidentally, was exactly what he was doing.

He didn't remember a single thing that happened in that class. He was too worried thinking about what would happen when he went home that weekend. In spite of himself, he wondered if Kylo would be visiting his family. He heard his cousin went to their college as well. Would they stay at the same house? For some strange reason, Hux began to feel jealous. He'd never had a family Christmas. His father was like Scrooge, there was no way he'd ever invite any outside family or stay home for "festivities". Hux bet Kylo's family did big family events and dinner together.

Hux shook his head and stood when class ended. Why was he thinking of this? He turned to pack up his bag when someone called his name. He'd heard this voice before.

"Hey, Hux?" She called. He looked up and saw a pretty, but albeit plain, girl with brown hair in a messy ponytail. She looked familiar. "Do you have the homework from two nights ago? I lost mine."

Hux looked her over and managed a nod. "Yes, but why don't you ask the teacher for a new one and do it yourself?"

The girl puckered her lips in annoyance. "Can't I just borrow yours? You've already gotten your grade."

Hux hated being put in the annoying smart kid role. He stopped himself from cussing out the girl in frustration and thought. "I'll let you borrow it- if-" He cut her off before she could say anything. She frowned. "If you give it back to me tomorrow at ten in exchange for a coffee."

She looked a little confused but nodded. "Deal. But one question." And Hux nodded in approval and she went on. "Are you asking me on a date?"

Hux realized how it sounded when he asked her for coffee. "No." In fact, Hux was deeply closeted for obvious reasons. "No, this wasn't meant as a date. I'm just really broke and want some coffee." He dug out the paper and handed it to her. "Business major, you know. I'll take advantage of a deal when I see one."

"That's a fair deal. Coffee's what, three dollars? Four?" She tucked away the paper and slung her bag over over her shoulders. "Oh- my name's Rey. I don't think we've talked before. I'm Ren's cousin."

Shit. Shit. Hux swallowed his immediate surprise and nodded. "I'm Hux, but I suppose you already know my name." And now he was stuck getting coffee with Kylo's cousin. "I'll see you tomorrow, I guess." He waved shortly as she smiled, turned, and left. How was she Kylo's cousin? She was kind and friendly and overall pretty normal. Or it least it seemed so.

Hux went back to the library and studied for two hours before heading off the work. He spoke a bit to the only person there who talked to him - her name was Phasma, and she seemed to be a foot taller than Hux's already tall height. She was serious to everyone but Hux, sometimes annoying and other times a much needed comic relief. Today, fortunately, it was lighthearted humor.

"You met Kylo's cousin?" She breathed in interest. Of course he'd told her about what happened.

"I didn't know that's who she was! Now I have to meet her for coffee tomorrow morning. Fuck!" He muttered under his breath, filling out papers hurriedly. "I'm so fucked."

"What's the worst that could happen?" Phasma asked, smiling and leaning over the table. "She probably already knows you room with Kylo."

"Yeah, she probably knows a bunch of weird things about me too. Kylo isn't the biggest fan of me. In fact, he hates me." Hux grumbled, worried about the rumors Kylo could tell - how he listened to intense rap music when he thought no one noticed and often stayed up late just to research photography.

"In his defense, most people hate you." Phasma's tenor voice brought him back to reality. He scowled at her. "Hey, I like you. But you're pretty standoffish and blatantly rude to people's faces. Also, what the hell are you talking about 'weird things'?"

He shook his head and turned back to his paperwork. "Not important. Get back to work, I have to finish this stuff in an hour."

He did finish it in an hour. That was no surprise. He said goodbye to Phasma and took his stuff to his next class, where he passed in an essay and received an essay he'd handed in a month ago. The grade made his heart stop.

A 63%. 63. Hux had never gotten below an 80 before. "Uh- Professor-" He called, stopping the older man and gesturing to his grade. "Why did I get this? I wrote it the same as I do all my other essays in this class. Why did I get such a bad grade?"

The professor saw his paper and nodded in remembrance. "That was not your best work. It was hard to understand what you were saying, and halfway through your handwriting became illegible. There wasn't even a concluding paragraph. Your pencil just slipped. Did you fall asleep writing it?"

Hux instantly knew which essay it was. He didn't answer the question in fear.

"You did, then. Hux, I suggest you begin changing your life a bit. Your work ethic has been dropping all month. I'd get your work done on time now." The professor waved his hand in dismissal. "Sit down."

Hux retreated like a wounded animal. He checked his missed calls to make sure his father didn't call. Nothing. Good. That didn't help his nerves much, though. He sat waiting for a call all class, avoiding the teacher's gaze to avoid any unnecessary awkwardness. That was all well and good, since the teacher didn't appear too happy either. Hux ran out of class as soon as it ended. As he hurriedly left to building he bumped into his roommate.

"Oof-!" Hux stumbled back and stopped himself against the door. Kylo looked unfazed by the bump but his face hardened as soon as he looked over the man in front of him.

"I heard you met my cousin." Was the worst thing he could say, and exactly what came out of his mouth. "She said you were meeting for coffee. Did you actually ask my cousin out on a date?" He looked feral. Hux felt like a weasel under his judging eyes.

"No. No, I swear on my life that isn't what happened." Hux saw a man ready to snap and knew the look well enough. "I made that clear with her. My father cut me off from coffee. I'm desperate."

Kylo looked content with his pleading, and sized up Hux like he was going to fight him. Hux swallowed. What was he going to do? It was so hard to tell. Those dark brown eyes held secrets like no other. Finally, Kylo shoved forcefully past Hux with a last, "Stay the fuck away from Rey." The door to the building shut with an echoing slam and Hux composed himself before heading off. What in God's name was he thinking asking that girl out for coffee?


	2. mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just what the chapter title says

The cafe was so full Hux could barely see past three people.

Of course, he'd brought his school bag, thinking he could get some work done while waiting for Rey. But he found quite immediately that he wouldn't be able to focus for one second. He grabbed a two-seat table and took out his phone t go through his photography blog and check on any comments. No one would catch him, would they? He typed out a few responses to kind comments and deleted an angry one, distracting himself from probable impending doom.

"You're a photographer?"

Hux jolted in his seat and dropped his phone in surprise. Rey appeared behind him, that ever-present determined look on her face. She sat across from him and saw his photography blog open on his phone between them. As quickly as he could Hux took his phone and pocketed it.

"N-no." He shook his head. "Just browsing. None of that is mine."

She didn't move, considering him for a second. Her eyes scanned him like a printer, as if she were seeing right through him. "Alright." It was the least convincing alright Hux had ever heard. "Let's get some coffee."

They both stood, Hux a bit more shaky than her, and went to order. The line was long, and neither of them was in a mood to wait.

"This is ridiculous." Rey tapped her foot and rolled her eyes. "I know a place just down the road that never has a line. It's not as good, but it does the job." And Hux nodded, just wanting coffee at this point, grabbed his bag from the table, and followed her out the door. It was too bright out for him. He hadn't slept the night before, something that was becoming a habit. For a moment he stood blindly, his arm across his eyes. Then everything cleared and he followed Rey.

"Right here." She stopped Hux walking past before he could get lost. He really was out of it.

The line in this cafe was much better. "This is where I always go when that other place is too crowded," Rey told him just as they stepped up to order. She asked for an iced hazelnut, extra cream, and Hux ordered his usual from months ago. Dark roast, one sugar one milk. Rey paid and they stood to the side, waiting.

"So," Rey thought of some small talk, then decided against it since she wasn't very good at it anyway. "You room with my cousin."

Hux was waiting for this. He swallowed and tried to find an answer. "Yes. I do."

"Does that connect at all to why you asked me out for coffee?" She noticed his scowl and rolled her eyes. Her mannerisms were just like Kylo's. "Sorry. Was this business deal at all connected?"

"I didn't even know who you were when you approached me." Hux didn't mean to be rude, but he didn't exactly have much of a filter. "Why would I want to be connected to my roommate's cousin? I hate Kylo and he hates me."

"He doesn't hate you." The barista called out Rey's order and she took it. Hux watched her sip mournfully. "He doesn't."

"What do you mean he doesn't hate me? We have screaming matches every time we speak to each other." Hux looked over the counter for his coffee and sighed. "How does that not equal hatred? He's said it to my face, anyway."

"I think that's just how Ren is." Rey huffed a laugh at Hux's desperate demeanor. "He's pretty angsty. You know him. C'mon, get your coffee."

The barista finally handed the paper cup of coffee over the counter and Hux barely got his "thank you" out before chugging half the cup right there. He didn't really notice the grit of the liquid, not steeped well and slightly watery, since he downed the whole thing easily. Rey led him over to a table and they sat, Hux finishing the cup and wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"Even chugging coffee you need to be proper." Rey raised her eyebrows with amusement. She stared pointedly at his button-down shirt and perfect hair. He set down the empty coffee cup and shrugged.

"It's habit."

"Huh." Rey wiped her mouth with her sleeve and set down her own coffee. "Of course. So- uh- I have the homework you lent me, but I was wondering if you'd- if you'd help me with something."

She took the borrowed paper and her notebook out, setting it on the table and opening up to a certain page. Hux raised an eyebrow, seeing her hinting to explain but not understanding how someone couldn't get that lesson. "You want me to tutor you?" He smirked knowingly.

"Just this lesson. I didn't get it and your work was too reliant on those methods." She looked just as adamant as before. Hux didn't see any reason not to help. He was awake enough then, the coffee starting to finally make him focus again. He nodded and began to show her what she was missing.

It was easy tutoring Rey. She wasn't stupid or anything, she just took longer to get stuff done - something Hux found immensely frustrating amongst her intelligence. He'd always been pushed to go as hard and fast as he could his whole life. Why couldn't she? These concepts were simple, why couldn't she understand?

"Wait-" Rey stopped him again for the hundredth time. "You multiply this by this?"

"Are you dim?" Hux said, exasperated. "It's this by this. We've already done this three times. Do it again."

"You aren't explaining it well!" Rey slammed down her pen and rubbed her face in her hands. "I don't get it and you keep moving on!"

"It's not my fault you're slow." He scoffed.

"You are such an asshole." Rey sat up and faced him. It was the most confrontational look Hux had ever seen. "I can't believe this. I should've listened to Ren. You're just mean."

"So what if I am?" Hux spat. He was well used to people hating him, but no one really ever told him he was mean. It stung a little. "I don't care what you think."

"Fine." Rey grabbed her papers, slamming Hux's borrowed homework in front of him and stood. "I guess I was wrong about you. I guess you really are just a bad person. Enjoy your precious homework." She grabbed her coffee. "By the way, your handwriting is shit."

She stomped out angrily. Hux sat there for a moment, yelling at himself for not just shutting up. Everything had gone well up until the last ten minutes. What would he tell Kylo? He was so screwed.

Slowly, he packed up his things and headed off to work. He'd be a half an hour early, but it could work. Should he go and apologize to Rey? Or would that be too undignified? Eventually he decided against it and just arrived early at work, sorting paperwork as the caffeine rush settled down and dropped. Maybe if he apologized to Rey he could get more coffee out off her. No. That would take too much effort. Besides, it'd take a while too. He just needed caffeine soon so he didn't completely crumble under schoolwork. Maybe he could ask his father for coffee privileges. That might do it.

Phasma didn't show up at work that day. He wondered where she was but didn't ask anyone. She'd turn up eventually. In the mean time, he busied his body and his mind with paperwork, statistics studying, and racquetball practice after. Kylo didn't show up to practice. That was a relief to Hux. Maybe Rey wouldn't tell him about what happened. Or maybe she was telling him right then and he'd be screwed when he arrived at home.

It was the latter. After a terribly long day, Hux decided to avoid going back to the dorm. He studied in the library until eleven, when he began to pass out in between thoughts, and headed back. That was usually when he decided to sleep. When he opened the door to his room he found Kylo sitting in his bed on his computer. He looked up as soon as Hux walked in and sent the most murderous look he'd ever made. Hux told himself he'd had worse and shut the door behind him.

"Hello." He greeted, throwing his bag on his bed and turning to wash up to go to bed. Kylo stood and threw a pillow at his head, making Hux turn and scowl at him. His red hair stuck up every which way.

Kylo laughed. "I just wanted to mess up your hair."

"Asshole." Hux hissed and fixed his hair, moving into the bathroom and unbuttoning his shirt at the same time. That's when Kylo snapped.

"Stay right where you are." He growled. Hux stopped, knowing what was coming. "I don't need to beat around the bush here. Why the fuck did you think it was okay to call my cousin stupid and humiliate her after she asked for your help?" He didn't give Hux a turn to reply. "You do know she insisted on not cancelling your coffee date today? That she said you couldn't possibly be all that bad when I tried convincing her you were the most vile, disgusting rat that ever lived?"

"What the fuck did I do to you?" Hux whipped around, feeling just as murderous as Kylo looked. "What the fuck have I done to you? Be kind of rude? That's just how I am, it's how I've always been. You don't need to be my friend, and I don't want to be your friend! So why in God's name are you getting all up in my fucking business?"

"Are you serious?" Kylo scoffed bitterly. "You listen to the goddamn worst music I've ever heard, you stay up until inhuman hours every night, you act like you own the fucking place, and you scream in your sleep! You're like some kind of crazy schizo mixed with a tryhard college student!"

That was pretty accurate. Hux flinched at how on point that was, feeling a bit like he was being scolded by his father. "You have no right to assume anything about me." His eyes watered but he pushed it back in. "I can't do this right now. I'm going to bed."

He slipped off his shirt and stepped to his bed, brushing past Kylo and tossing his bag aside. He could clean it in the morning.

"Hey." Kylo hissed. "You're not getting off that easy. Why the fuck did you make my cousin feel like shit? She said she wanted to actually give you a chance, and I need to know why you called her stupid."

Hux turned his head to meet Kylo's eyes, and for a moment Kylo was scared. Hux's eyes were dark and shadowy, the bags under his eyes intense and purple, and the shadows of the room cast darkness across his bony face. He almost looked dead. Then Hux shifted his gaze. Kylo noticed his hands shaking and his lacking ability to stop it.

"What the fuck is going on with you?" Kylo grumbled, stepping towards him. Hux huffed and tried avoiding his gaze. "You're literally killing yourself. Why the hell are you doing this?"

"Because I have no other choice." Was really what Hux didn't want to say, but said anyway. "I- my father. He has expectations."

"You look like you'll pass out any second." Kylo breathed. He was more terrified than angry at that point. "Fuck his expectations. Why do you have to follow his rules all the time? All it's doing is hurting you."

"You don't understand." Hux collapsed on the side of his bed. He couldn't stop talking about all this personal shit - why the hell couldn't he stop? Was he really that tired? "I have to see my father this weekend for the holiday break. I- I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't ace all my exams- I don't know what he's going to do." That was a mistake to say.

"Is he beating you?" Kylo guessed. "Hux, you can't keep that a fucking secret."

"It's none of your goddamn business." Hux stood again, defiantly.

"Then why are you telling me about it? I can't just sit and let you get tossed around."

"Why fucking not? It's not your family, not your business. I'm not even your friend! You hate me, I hate you! We can keep it that way, you can leave me be and I'll stop going on about my personal life!" Hux got fired up again just to keep him quiet. He didn't know what he'd do if his father found out what he said behind his back.

"Isn't it illegal for me to not do anything?" Kylo pointed out unsurely.

"You can't say anything!" Hux shouted, moving in on him until they were almost pressed against the wall. "You can't! I'll fucking kill you if you say anything! Do you know what you'd start? They can't take away my father, no one can touch him! Promise me you won't tell anyone!"

Hux looked so crazed that all Kylo could do for a moment is stare. "What do you mean no one can touch him?" He asked very carefully.

"He's a military man. Retired but very well known." Hux explained. "He wanted me to enlist, but I purposely failed all the tests. No one can touch him. You have to promise me you won't say anything, you have to. You'll only get me in trouble. Lots and lots of trouble. Promise me!"

Kylo nodded and swallowed. "Sure. Yeah. Lips sealed. Now get off me."

Hux just then noticed how close they were. His bare chest was pressed up against Kylo's shirt, the only thing keeping them from touching. Hux could see just how brown Kylo's eyes were that close. And his rugged looks and thick chest and tousled hair-

He moved away as quickly as he possibly could. He couldn't think about a man like that. It wasn't right. "Sorry." Hux managed, stumbling back to his bed. "I'm just- I'm going to sleep." He stuttered and slipped quietly into bed. 


	3. Don’t Go Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux dreads going home, Kylo worries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: abuse and violence

Exams that week were the hardest Hux had ever taken.

He couldn't focus, he fell asleep numerous times, and his handwriting went downhill after the second half, but he thought he did well. The first two were the easier ones, English and Physics. The ones after that were progressively harder and more strenuous on his mind. By the time it was all over and done with at the end of the week, Hux barely made it to bed without collapsing. He'd barely eaten anything for days, and his nightmares were terrible due to the panic attacks he'd get every night just thinking about how he had to go home.

Kylo didn't walk on eggshells around him like Hux thought he would. He was too proud for that. Instead, he called him "asshole" less and went out to hang around Rey more. Maybe they gossiped about him and mocked him behind his back. If they did, Hux didn't care. He didn't have time to care about stuff like that.

Kylo packed just as dreadfully to go home when the time came that Friday. Hux watched him from his bed, stuffing dirty laundry into a bag and strong smelling cologne into his duffle. He didn't pack much. Maybe he had more at home.

"Looks like you don't want to go home either." Hux said aloud, and cursed his slippery tongue.

"Nah." But Kylo shrugged it off. "Not really. My parents are just..." He threw his hands in the air to show his frustration. "They're super careful around me. Like I'll break something at any second. My dad's too much of an idiot to care much, but my mom is too smart for her own good and knows exactly what's on my mind at every second. It's fucking annoying."

Hux nodded and carefully folded in a last pair of pants. "Sounds awful."

"Yeah it's fucking awful." He agreed. "And I bet uncle Luke will be there too."

"Is he terrible too?"

"The worst. He used to be my martial arts teacher before- before he said he didn't like how aggressively I used it and tried to kick me out. I took a handful of other students with me when I left and scared everyone else away. What an asshole."

That was the first time in a while Hux had heard "asshole". He nodded in understanding and zipped his bag closed. He needed to leave in a half an hour.

"What's in store for you?" Kylo kept stuffing for things into his duffle. "I know your father's a piece of shit but what about your mother? She's gotta be alright."

Hux hadn't thought about his mother in months, probably. He let out an angry huff and shook his head. "She was more than alright. She was the only person who ever actually liked me. Doesn't matter though." He looked down as Kylo stopped what he was doing and turned. "She's dead. Got sick when I was eleven, died two months later."

"Shit." Kylo apologized, at least as best as he could. "That's fuckin terrible."

"Father will probably make me visit her." He thought. He stood again and grabbed a black suit and everything black that went with it and folded it with his other things. "Of course he will. Probably on Christmas."

"Hm." Kylo narrowed his eyes. "For some reason I thought you were Jewish."

"Jewish? No, why would you think that?" Hux managed a smile and turned to face him. He'd gotten his mind off what waited for him at home, and that was kind enough.

"I don't really know." He considered it. "Maybe it's the whole rich kid thing."

"Now that's- thats fucking racist." But Hux smiled as he said it. As stupid as Kylo was, he did say pretty entertaining things.

"Shit, don't make me feel bad about it." He raised his hands in surrender. "I haven't done anything wrong."

Hux scoffed and leaned back against the wall. He was too tired to keep up the conversation, and he wished to just rest anyway. He looked at his watch and realized he was thirty minutes off the last time he glanced at the time; he was supposed to leave five minutes ago.

"Fuck. I gotta go." He climbed off his bed and grabbed his bag, throwing it over his shoulder. "I'll see you after break. I'm late."

"Wait." Kylo stopped him before he could leave, stuffing one last thing in his duffle and zipping it up. "Can I- damnit I know neither of us like each other, but just to make my conscience feel a bit better- can I have your number? In case something happens at home. I don't want to feel like I knew something would happen and not be able to do anything when it did."

Hux thought this over for a second. "Sure. Why not?" They switched phones and typed in each other's number, and Hux felt a bit weird doing so - he had about five numbers in his contact list, two of them being Phasma and his father and the other three being official numbers of the army enlistment agency near home (his father insisted), the town hall, and the local pizza place (just in case). He pocketed his phone, sent an awkward, tight-lipped smile to Kylo, and left. He didn't like the thought of his roommate worrying for his safety at home. It put a pit in his stomach.

He didn't have to walk far. The campus bus was right outside the dorm, and the ride to the airport wasn't as long as he thought. That was a relief. The plane ride was two hours, and Hux found himself not able to stay awake for more than ten minutes. The whole way he slept, and when he woke the sun was setting. As hastily as he could he logged onto his photography blog, checking his notifications before he had to stay away for three weeks. He sent out one post, stating his hiatus and not saying much more. Then he slipped his phone in his pocket and walked off the plane with everyone else.

It was frigid and snowing at home. Hux carried his one bag into the pickup area of the airport, looking around for the chauffeur that would probably be receiving him.

"Young Master Hux," A soft voice called behind him. He whipped around and found Sophia, an older greying Italian woman who'd been their driver since he was ten.

"Hello, Sophia." Hux managed a smile as the woman brought him in for a hug. She was much shorter than him, but that never stopped her. She let go of him after an uncomfortable length of time and looked him over.

"You look too skinny." It was what she usually said, but this time she said it with seriousness. "Too dead. Come on now, the General waits at home. Supper must be on the table by now." She grabbed his bag, threw it in the trunk, and opened the door for him. He smiled and climbed in.

The drive was quieter than usual. "The General told me to stop by the enlistment office." Sophia said from the front seat. Hux's blood ran cold.

"Drive right home." He chewed the inside of his lip. "Don't stop. I know what he's doing."

"By your orders, young Master."

Sophia didn't say another word the rest of the drive. Hux sat in silence, preparing himself for everything that was to come. Just as they were pulling into the driveway, Sophia turned to face Hux with a frown on her face.

"This is my last week here." She whispered. "I have until Saturday night. Tomorrow night."

"No." Hux was too shocked to say much more for a moment. "No. That's not true. Who the fuck fired you?"

"The General. Who else?" There were tears in her eyes. "Watch your language." And she took a deep breath and shook her head. "I'm sorry. It's been a pleasure working for you all these years."

Hux sat breathing heavily for a long moment, fuming with anger. How could his father do this? Why? Was he insane? Well, probably, but he still didn't have a right! Hux flung the door open, climbed out, grabbed his bag and ran inside. His father would be hearing from him. How dare he!

He flung open the door and immediately noticed the scent of cinnamon. The cook must be boiling Christmas spices over the stove. It didn't deter Hux. After so long of working hard and following all his rules, he'd come home to some of the worst news he could think of! He threw his bag at the base of the stairs and peeked around the corner. "Father?" He called, heading deeper into the house. "Father? Are you home?"

"Ah, Armitage." Brendol Hux passed into the kitchen where Hux stood, still boiling in fury. "You're home." The General walked with a cane. When had he started walking with a cane? "The table is set. You're late."

"The plane got delayed." Hux managed through gritted teeth. "Father, why-?"

"Did you stop by the enlistment agency like I told Sophia to do?" The General stopped in front of his son and stared right through him, pale blue eyes drilling holes through his soul. Hux faltered and panicked.

"Yes." He blurted. "I talked to George. It's not quite possible right now, with schoolwork. Father-?"

"Nonsense. The army ROTC at your university is at high respect, I ensure you. I double checked before I sent you off. You are to enroll just after break." The General didn't ask. He never asked. "It's about time you actually became a military man like you're supposed to. Get some real muscle on your frail body."

Hux looked down at himself. Frail? He never thought of himself as frail. Nevertheless, he looked up, slightly dazed but still angry. "Father, why have you fired Sophia?"

"Mostly productivity." He spoke as if it were merely business. "She's old. I run a tight ship around here, Armitage, I can't carry dead weight."

"We've known her for over nine years." Hux argued. "Nine! Since I was ten. She's the only driver I've ever known."

"She works for us, she is not your mother!" The General had said it before, and it stung every time. "She is not your mother! She's a chauffeur! Stand up straight, child, and stop this emotional whining!"

"Does her kindness and connection mean nothing to you? Are you so cold?" Hux was mad with fury again. "Have you lost all feeling?"

"Do not undermine me, boy!" The General began to look like the monster Hux remembered. Even crouched over a cane, shadows danced across his large but sharp frame and features, his eyes darkened like storm clouds and his lips curled back like a rabid dog. Hux swallowed and stepped away. "You leave for a few months and you think you're entitled to speak to me like that? I shall have pleasure teaching you your place again!"

"You cause me so much pain." Hux slipped out. Curse that tongue of his. "You're terrible. A monster."

The General stepped forward without hesitation and backhanded Hux across the cheek so hard he felt himself black out for a second. Then he found himself on the floor. The General stood above him, looking exactly as he did in Hux's nightmares.

"You will do well to shut your mouth." Hux's cheek swelled with pain. It would bruise. The General looked unnaturally powerful hobbling forward on his cane. Hux scrambled to his feet and edged back. Terror crawled through his veins.

"You hit me." Hux croaked. His hand fell over his cheek. The General growled.

"The world is cruel. Better you learn quickly before you're overrun." He inched forward after his son. Hux hit a wall behind him and whimpered.

"You really are empty. There's nothing in you." Hux realized. The General's eyes were so empty. Cold as the night. "You're a monster."

"What did I just say?" The General was beyond angrier than Hux had seen him in a very long time. He was quicker than he seemed, too. He slammed Hux against the wall behind him and ripped him forward, keeping a painful grip on his hair. Hux cried out and reached for anything to keep his balance before he fell. The General kicked out his ankles and he fell to his face, feeling blood gush from his nose. Everything hurt.

Only instinct got into him then. Hux stumbled, his feet feeling unbalanced, and ran from the room. The General went after him, but his legs were long and he was much faster. He grabbed his bag by the stairs and slammed out the door, not hearing his father's threat behind him. Sophia was still in the car, worried about Hux. When he came out bloody and terrified she started up the engine and barely waited for him to shut the door before starting off.

"Just fucking drive!" Hux cried out, hot tears rolling down his bruised cheek as he shakily tore his phone out of his pocket. Kylo. He was all he had. He pressed the call button next to his contact and prayed to every god that existed for him to pick up.

"Hey." He answered on the third ring. "Is everything good?"

"Where are you? Where do you live?" His voice was trembling too much. "I know you live maybe an hour away. Where? Kylo, I don't know where to go. I can't. I need- where are you?"

"Hey, slow down. It's alright. Are you safe now?"

"I don't know. I need to stay away."

"Okay. Okay. I'm texting you the address right now. Get it?"

Hux's phone buzzed and he saw the text. "Mm. Yeah." He called up to Sophia and she nodded, turning off the road to drive there.

"Are you hurt? What happened?"

Kylo's voice rung through the line again. Hux licked at the blood flowing over his lip and sputtered. He didn't have an answer. "I-I was angry and- Christ, I can't shut up- I- he was going to fire- fuck." He shook his head and gave up on that explanation. He didn't think he could speak one coherent sentence.

"It's okay. Are you on your way?"

"Mm. Yes. Sophia is driving." There was one sentence. "Be there soon. Sorry."

"Why the fuck are you sorry? Get here quick you idiot. You're not going back there." There was a shout in the background on the other line. "I'm coming!" Kylo pulled away from the phone. "Sorry. I have to go. I'll have my phone on me at dinner if you need to text me."

"Okay. Okay. Goodbye." He heard the call end and hung his head, his throat bubbling up sobs inside of him. Sophia turned on the radio to try and get his mind off it, but it barely helped.

This drive was much longer than the last, at least it felt that way. Kylo was only an hour away. His house was painted white with red shutters. That's what he texted Hux. Third house on the street. Hux again wondered if Rey would be staying with them. His heart skipped a beat with nervousness and he again found himself weeping into his hands.

"Sir." Sophia's voice called like a mist in his ears. "Is this the house?"

Hux looked up and found a colonial white home with red shutters. He looked back and saw two other houses, just as plain and colonial. He nodded and grabbed his bag, getting out of the car sorely and shutting the door behind him. "Sophia." He stopped her before she could drive away. "Please don't go back there. He'll- I don't know what he'd do. Just please go home. It's Christmas Eve tomorrow. I don't want you hurt."

She considered it, and nodded. "I think you're right. I don't think I trust the General either right now. You, however-" She grabbed his hand through the window and squeezed it. "Promise me this boy you're staying with won't hurt you."

"He won't. I don't think so. He offered." Hux's mind was still a mess. Sophia wiped away a tear on his cheek. "He offered to have me stay. If father ever-"

"It's alright. You're safe now." Sophia smiled and let go of his hand. "Go now. You need to get cleaned up."

Hux managed a smile and nodded. "Yes. You're right. Thank you, Sophia- for everything. Go home." And she nodded and drove down the road, leaving Hux to take a shuddering breath and head across the well-manicured lawn.


End file.
